You sat in your car outside Sainsbury’s with a text from your friend sitting on your screen. It wasn’t dramatic, just a regular text from a friend.
It was just… impossible.
The thought of replying felt like walking through fog. Your chest tightened. Your brain froze.
You knew you should go in and do your food shop, and you sat there willing yourself to move.
But you didn’t. You couldn't. You scrolled. Froze. Scrolled again.
Another message notification. Another flicker of guilt.
And then came the voice:
"Why is this so hard?"
You don’t need more willpower and there's nothing 'wrong' with you. You need a life that meets you where you are.
And you're definitely not lazy!
You sat in your car outside Sainsbury’s with a text from your friend sitting on your screen. It wasn’t dramatic, just a regular text from a friend.
It was just… impossible.
The thought of replying felt like walking through fog. Your chest tightened. Your brain froze.
You knew you should go in and do your food shop, and you sat there willing yourself to move.
But you didn’t. You couldn't. You scrolled. Froze. Scrolled again.
Another message notification. Another flicker of guilt.
And then came the voice:
"Why is this so hard?"
You don’t need more willpower and there's nothing 'wrong' with you. You need a life that meets you where you are.
✔️ You open a message and feel a full-body shutdown. Then the shame spiral hits.
✔️ You disappear for days from group chats, then panic about what people think.
✔️ You cry after casual conversations because you can’t stop thinking about that one thing you said.
✔️ You Google “how to stop masking” while half-listening to a Zoom meeting you’re pretending to enjoy.
✔️ You’re so used to over-performing that resting feels like selfishness and you're consumed by guilt over the things you 'should' be doing.
It feels like you're caught in a spiral with no way of getting out.
But there is a way. And it's easier than you believe.
This is about no longer being at war with yourself.
It’s about letting go of the guilt that’s been stitched into every interaction.
It’s about finally exhaling.You don’t need another strategy.
You need to remember who you are underneath the performance.
👉 Join The RADIATE Way — and rebuild your life from your wiring, not your wounds.
The RADIATE Way isn’t another planner, checklist, or productivity hack.
It’s a system reset for your nervous system — built by someone who’s lived the burnout, the masking, and the shame spiral firsthand.
This is your escape route from survival mode. A rinse-and-repeat framework that brings your brain, body, and beliefs back into alignment, so you can stop performing and start living.
This method meets you exactly where you are, and moves with you.
A system to help you create your life on purpose — from your truth, not from your trauma.
The RADIATE Framework
Your rinse and repeat framework that will always meet you exactly where you're at.
REFLECTION
Begin where you are. Get honest about how you’re really feeling — not how you should feel.
ACCEPTANCE
Understand your strengths & challenges. Release the shame and embrace all that you are. Understand your brain without judgment.
DISCOVER
Get clear on what truly matters to you — not what the world has told you to want.
IMPLEMENT & INNOVATE
Create support systems, structures, and rhythms that work with your wiring — not against it.
ADVOCATE
Create healthy boundaries and learn how to advocate for yourself from a place of self-love and respect.
TRANSFORM
Redefine success on your terms. Craft a life that feels like ease, not effort.
EMPOWER
Lead yourself (and others) from truth. Become the example, not the exception.
Each module video walks you through the RADIATE method — on your terms, in your rhythm.
Designed to ensure you gain real-time insights and benefits from each module.
No fluff, no filler, no “fixing”, just 100% you.
You'll gain lifetime access to The RADIATE Way, including updates and refreshes.
Hi, I'm Nikki Buter, aka The Autistic Joyologist
A late-diagnosed, high-masking, always-overthinking woman who spent years trying to thrive in a world that felt like it wasn’t built for me.
I know what it’s like to look like you’re coping… while you’re quietly spiralling. To be the high-achiever who cries after meetings. The friend who says yes but dreads the plan. The woman who keeps disappearing from her own life just to survive the pace of it.
Everything I create with The Autistic Joyologist — including The RADIATE Way — is built for women like us. The beautifully wired ones. The ones who care deeply, think constantly, and crave a version of life that doesn’t demand a performance.
I’m not here to give you another strategy. I’m here to walk beside you as you come back to yourself.
💖 Because I believe the only permission you ever needed… was your own.
You don’t need to reply to every message. You don’t need to be “on” for everyone. You don’t need to keep abandoning yourself to earn space in the room. The real you is not too much. She’s just been too hidden for too long.